The Kiss of Obsession
by Jessica Marie Cullen
Summary: Edward Cullen is a geek. He's at the bottom of the social chain, put there forcefully and just when he thinks the Popularity Gods hate him, he's pulled into a game only he can stop. The thing is, does Edward want it to stop? OOC AH Disclaimer: Me no own
1. The Bottom of the Social Chain

The Kiss of Obsession

Chapter 1: The Bottom of the Social Chain

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Obsession by Jessica Marie Cullen

_Clawing up my bones,  
Paralyzing me to need,  
Cold sweat,  
When I awake,  
I want,  
I need,  
I will have,  
And I've got to get,  
I've got to have,  
Without it,  
There is no I,  
And I need me,  
I will forever have the metallic feel,  
A pull,  
A force,  
A magnetic love,  
That I have to give into,  
I fight,  
I run,  
But it's like an orbiting force,  
It will never die,  
I will die if it does,  
There will be pain,  
There will be suffering,  
But I will go with it,  
If it were to go,  
That's what I fear,  
My killing,  
Fear induced,  
Obsession._

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Edward POV

I barely go to parties anymore. I can't believe I'm still here at this one now. But of course, it's my sister's birthday party, and she wanted me to go, so I'm here. The funny thing is, it's in my house, and if it wasn't for my sister, I would have gone to the library and stayed there until I was sure there would be nothing but trash and dirt in my house.

I never will get drunk again, and at parties it's basically required to get drunk now days. I don't fit in, and my sister expects me to fit in, she expects me to mingle with our drunken student body. I just can't. So that's why I'm sitting on our kitchen counter looking off into space.

My sister, Alice, thought I would enjoy myself at her party. I guess she was high when she thought this was going to be enjoyable for me. I sighed and pushed my thick framed glasses up my nose.

Alice and I are twins. I was born 5 minutes before Alice. Mom said I never cried the whole time. The doctors had to slap my butt to make sure I was breathing. I never cried, I just coughed up the mucus in my mouth. Mom said she thought I was already ready for life's difficulties. She said I was different than my sister. When Alice had come out, she had wailed. The doctors had laughed at the differences between us. Mom knew who was going to be hard to handle, and she also knew who was going to be a socialized wreck. We looked nothing like each other, though. I had bronze hair like Mom, and Alice had black spiky hair like Dad.

I suddenly missed Mom and Dad. They were never home. They both were off on a 2 month shopping spree in Paris. Yeah, my parents are rich. More than rich, their filthy rich. Our house is like a castle, it's a friggin' 4 story. A perfect house for parties, Alice had told me as soon as mom and dad pulled out of the driveway. Since Alice's and my parents left last Saturday, parties have been the main attraction in this house.

The last party I went to was when I had a girlfriend. I winced, that was still a sore subject.

It was our 17th birthday party, and I was glad I had had a girlfriend to smile at. Her name was Tanya Denali. She had pretty strawberry hair that whipped in the wind and had the prettiest green eyes I had ever seen. Tanya was one of the smartest girls I had met, though she never told anyone. She was on the top of the social chain, and I was on the bottom. The surprise was when she had looked me straight in the eyes when we had passed by in the hallway. She had walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend.

Of course being the geek that I was, I stumbled over my words, but she got the idea that I had said yes. With that yes, I skipped at least 10 levels of the social chain and was put on the very top. Tanya had let me sit at her table, with her friends Mike, Eric, Lauren, Paul, Jacob, and Jessica. They had all been nice to me, but there was a look of sadness in their eyes. It was at least 2 days before my birthday; I had found it as a birthday present from the Popularity Gods.

On the day of my birthday, Alice had planned an over the top party of epic proportions, and she was flying around the house getting things ready. Mom and Dad at the time had taken a trip to Egypt, and there was beer everywhere. When people had started filling in at about 8, I had gotten over excited. This was the first birthday party that people actually noticed me. This was one of the first parties I had participated in. And I was actually ready to show off my first girlfriend.

It had turned out Tanya had only used me to get into my pants. She had drugged my drink and had practically raped me, if that made sense. I had said no at least 10 times, but she still stripped me down and made me lose my virginity. When she was done with what my sister had later called, "Sexual Release," she had left me there naked, for anyone else who wanted to use my body for granted. I had probably gotten "raped" 14 times that night by all of Tanya's friends I didn't even know about. There were even guys who had come in the room.

I had felt so violated. Once I finally realized the best thing to do was to go to sleep, I fell into a drug hazed sleep. I woke in the morning and realized that I was most likely back on the bottom of the chain again, and for once, I decided that's where I was going to stay. I had promised myself that I would basically stay on the bottom of the chain however I could. But sadly the Popularity Gods had other ideas.

I had accidentally made friends with 2 of the most popular guys in the school. Both where players and both understood my problems and took me in. Their names were Emmett and Jasper. They were epic football and baseball players, and I was even lucky to have even made acquaintance with them. But none the less, they understood that I wanted to stay at the bottom of the chain because let's just face it, the only time I got put on the spotlight I got drugged and raped by a bunch of girls and guys. So that was a road I most definitely _didn't_ want to take.

They also didn't want to lose their popularity. Everyone knew of the raping that had had me paralyzed for life, and everyone found me disgusting. Somehow, Tanya and their friends had made up a story that I had drugged them and they all were raped. Tanya had even made up the story that I had asked her out just to get in her pants and her friends pants. So basically, even if I hadn't of wanted to still be on the bottom of the chain, I didn't have a choice. Whenever I asked someone if I could borrow a pencil or paper they would ask me if I was going to rape them. It had become an epic tear-drawer. Every night I cried, but I finally realized I probably wasn't going to get very far anyway, and I got over it all.

So Jasper and Emmett decided we would keep our friendship a secret. In time, the secret was the key to our friendship. Whenever Emmett had free time away from snagging girls or playing football, he would drop by my enormous house and eat dinner with me. Whenever Jasper had time away from baseball he would drop by and play videogames with me. The only other person that knew of our friendship was Alice, and she knew that it was a secret so she told no one.

Alice was also popular, having pretty much busted her ass to get where she was. She had worked day in and day out on her dresses and her outfits, and when it came time for school to start; she was the head turner of the century. Naturally her bubbly attitude planted her on the top of the top, and she seemed to be making friends faster than I could read. And that's saying something. Alice had only one friend that would come over to the house, though. Her name was Isabella, preferably Bella, and she was the prettiest thing I had ever seen.

She had naturally curly brown hair that swept around her like a veil. Her eyes were brown and they looked you in the eyes no matter what they subject was. She had the body of a gymnast, but she preferred volleyball. Her legs were sculpted to the extreme, and I sometimes found myself wishing I could run my hands over the smooth skin. Her skin on her face was stretched so you could see the delicate design of her cheekbones. God had made her a human angel, and he expected her to do greatness.

She never spoke to me, but I knew if she had there would be the same words spilling out of her mouth as everyone else's. I found myself trying to come up with an angels voice tell me that I should go away.

Though she was an angel, she still seemed like the type that would get to the point. She also seemed like the type that was stubborn. That much was said about her when Alice talked about her. From what Alice had said, Bella hated shopping, she'd rather wear jeans and a t-shirt than a skirt and a tank top like the rest of the skanks around the school. (Alice's words, not mine.) She, like me, loved to read, and her favorite story was Wuthering Heights.

The one thing that Alice had yet to tell me was why Bella was so forward. I could tell Alice knew something I didn't. It was like a secret only Bella and Alice knew. And I desperately wanted to know what it meant.

Jasper and Emmett had told me to get over Bella before she hurt me like Tanya, and it seemed like they held the same secret Alice and Bella held. Everyone was holding this secret from me, and it was getting on my nerves.

I was quickly ripped from my revere when someone tapped me on the leg. I was still sitting on the counter, and I bet I was quite a sight to look at considering I was looking off into space.

I refocused my eyes to see Jasper.

Usually Jasper never confronted me in public because no one knew of our secret and they would think it weird that we were talking. It was almost disconcerting that Jasper was talking to me in public because I was used to it, and immediately I looked to the left and then to the right. No one was in the kitchen. The doors were closed on both sides. I realized the speakers weren't causing the ground to vibrate like it had when the doors were opened.

"Don't worry, I closed and locked them." Jasper said. His voice was familiar, yet unfamiliar. I suspected he was drinking, and he knew better. Though he wasn't holding anything in his hand, and he looked very much in control, I knew him a lot better than most people and I could see he was drunk. His eyes were half lidded, and that usually never happened unless he was drunk or extremely tired.

"What's this about, Jasper?" I asked in a polite voice. I knew that Jasper was probably in here about to ask me why the hell I was even in here in the first place.

"It just seems weird that you are here. You hardly ever come to parties, and I knew even on your birthday you'd rather read in the library than be here whether it's your birthday or not." His voice never wavered as he confirmed what I had guessed he was going to be asking me. It was like he wasn't even drunk, though. I was stunned at him, I knew he was a very controlled person, but he acted as if he had never drunk anything. He even looked me straight in the eyes.

"I'd rather be at the library than here, yes, but Alice had practically begged me to stay. This time it was different, she said she'd make it extra fun for me, but I don't see her doing anything for me at the moment." I knew I had lost Jasper as soon as I had said Alice's name, but I finished my sentence anyway. I was used to the ignoring that I got from everyone.

Jasper had had a crush on Alice since before we were even friends. On a whim, he had told me, but we kept it a secret from Emmett because he had a big mouth and he liked to tell people of things like that. I was really surprised he had kept his mouth shut about me liking Bella.

I smacked Jasper upside the head like I usually had to do when he was in this state. He shook his head like he had just been taken out of a trance. Knowing how he was about Alice, I wouldn't be surprised.

"Huh?" He said looking at me while rubbing the place where I had hit him upside the head.

"Look, I know you have this major, mega, epic, undying love for my sister, but could you for once not go off in La La Land when I'm talking to you about her?" I said annoyance evident in my voice.

"It's hard not to, you do the same thing when I'm talking about Bella." He said, obviously annoyed that I had smacked him upside the head interrupting what I guess was a very intriguing fantasy of Alice.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "I didn't do it when you were talking about her right now, did I?"

"No, but you had a reminder! That's not fair!" Jasper whined. He looked down for a second and then looked up at me and our eyes locked. We began laughing for no reason, but our laughter was cut off with a loud banging on the door that came from the living room.

I looked at Jasper and realized whoever it was could possibly bring Jasper's popularity down to my level.

I pushed him to go in our walk in pantry just as there was another bang on the door. "Go," I whispered. "I'll tell you when to get out."

Jasper nodded and ran to the pantry. He closed it behind him, but not before he stuck his tongue out at me. Oh yeah, very mature Jasper. I rolled my eyes as I dropped down from the counter.

I unlocked the doors and pulled them back as a figure raced in. I turned around as the figure ran to the sink and threw up. Her brown, mahogany hair was in her way, so I walked over to the sink and held her hair for her. I noticed the pale, olive skin that I had been secretly in love with for God knows how long and almost dropped her hair. It was Bella. And though she was throwing up, she was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. God, I think my dick twitched. I tried to move so that she couldn't feel it as I held her hair, but she pulled back and turned her head to look at me.

I was surprised her eyes weren't drowning in a drunken haze like Alice's eyes usually were right after she threw up when she was too drunk. She didn't look drunk at all. Her posture wasn't anything like Alice's, and her eyes weren't even lidded like Jasper's had been. I tried to speak, but I couldn't speak at all.

"Thank you, Edward." Her voice was the most beautiful thing I had heard in my life. I think even in my earlier lives, I had never heard anything like her voice either. I tried to speak, but my mouth opened and closed a couple of times. I had my suspicions that Alice had told Bella my name, and a bunch of other things I was even afraid to have anyone know.

Bella turned around and washed her mouth out, and I held her hair again so it wouldn't get wet. Once she looked like she was done, I let my hands fall.

I couldn't help it, I had to ask. I was surprised I could even speak at all, but it came out of my mouth anyhow. "What happened? You don't look like you're drunk to me."

Bella seemed to freeze, even though she was still facing behind me. She shuddered and then turned around. "Mike Newton. Do I need to explain?"

I wrinkled my nose, and shook my head. "I don't think I want to know now." It was easy talking to Bella, though she was the object of my desire, I found Bella one of the easiest people I could talk to. I couldn't believe I hadn't even stumbled over my words yet.

She smiled alittle, "I don't think you want to know either."

There was a silence for a moment, and then Bella was leaning towards me. My first instinct was to freak. I had never really kissed anyone on my own free will, and I had no experience, but my body acted as if I had done this a billion times. It leaned in, and my eyes closed on its own accord, and I closed the distance between us.

Just like Bella's voice, it was like nothing I had ever tasted before. She was something I had never had before. She was like a drug; addicting. I wanted, I needed, but I couldn't get enough of her. Her lips were soft and moist like she had just put on lip gloss. But her lips were clean; she had just cleaned her mouth with water. She tasted delicious. Like strawberries and chocolate. I devoured her lips, and she, the same. We were practically making out.

Suddenly she pulled away, and I felt a sudden loss like she had taken my heart with her. She bit her bottom lip, and practically ran to the door. She looked behind her shoulder and the look on her face said it all. She was leaving me with a memory. She ran out of the kitchen and closed the door behind her like she was leaving me forever.

I would have followed her, but I heard the distinctive sound of the pounding in the pantry. I ran to it, in a trance. A trance I'm sure I'd never get out of.

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**A/N: Ok, those of you who have read my other stories know that my updates are soully put on reviews so please review. If there aren't at least 5 reviews for this chapter, there won't be any more chapters. This was just an experiment that I wanted to try out since it's been bugging me since forever. Hope you enjoyed! Review!**

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_If you are a growing poet and you'd like to have your pieces put at the beginning of the next chapter, please PM me. The only thing I ask is that the poem be about an obsession. Other than that, have fun writing them. First come, first serve. I will save your poems to my computer for further chapters, but the first to send me their poem now gets their poem in the next chapter first. _


	2. Demon Named Obsession

The Kiss of Obsession

Chapter 2: Demon Named Obsession

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_Obsession by Jessica Marie Cullen_

_There's a,  
__Demon,  
__That I have.  
__He lives  
__With me,  
__And,  
He drowns me,  
__In my own fears.  
__He sleeps with me,  
__Or rather,  
__He keeps me up,  
__At night.  
__And,  
__His name is:  
__Obsession._

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Edward POV

I awoke again as I always have since that day. The day of the end. For me anyway. I awoke with cold sweat plastered to my face and neck, and a tingling feeling I was getting accustomed to. It was like a million pins were sticking to me and the pain would not go away.

I looked to the clock, the only thing that calmed me down. I listened to the familiar ticking of time passing. Though the time was a calming this to me, I had no clue what day of the week was. It seemed like days were smashed together. I hadn't had a day I could say I could remember something important that happened and count from that day up until what ever today was. My days were the same. I did the same things. I would awake sweating cold sweat, eat nothing, go to school, work on school work, get asked to stay away, and practically pant over the one thing that had me waking up at night.

I slept no more. I haven't slept for more than 15 minutes since Bella kissed me at my 18th birthday party. When she had left me there in that kitchen, when I had seen her walk away that was the last time I had seen her. She didn't show up in the only class I saw her in, which was Biology. Even Alice hadn't mentioned her. It was like that kiss had ripped Bella off the face of the Earth.

I knew she had felt the passion in that kiss. She had kissed me back. That passion I felt was too strong for only one part of the equation to feel. I could see in her eyes after she had kissed me that there was passion, but she hid it well.

If I hadn't been so geeky, I wouldn't be able to read people, and I wouldn't have been able to see the passion behind the block in her eyes. Being a geek, since I had no friends, I had the time to measure and calculate people's expressions. I watched movements with my eyes, and assessed them. I transformed them into emotions. The simplest of movements could mean the person was agitated or that they had feelings for the person. I could pretty much tell who people liked and didn't like just by looking at them.

But with Bella, it had always been hard. She was different from all the others. Some how, she smiled at everyone. They weren't fake smiles, and they weren't real. They were smiles that no one could tell the difference between. I had always wondered if she practiced her expressions in the mirror. I never said anything to anyone about it, since they would just call me a geek or tell me to 'not rape them'.

Bella had shown emotion that night, though. I had seen it. She had frozen because of her disgust for Mike. At first, I knew she was disgusted for something, but I had no clue it was Mike Newton. She hadn't needed to explain after she said his name.

The point was Bella had me tied up and taped me to a wall. I couldn't have run for her when she had left because I was stunned by the beauty and the passion behind her eyes and that kiss. I thought she enjoyed it. It was clear all over her face. But I didn't get to race after her, and I didn't get a chance to speak to her about it at school because she wasn't there. I couldn't think of anyway that I could contact her. I tried talking to Alice, but Alice never said anything. She would say, "Bella who?" I started thinking that I had made Bella up all along to please myself and make life more interesting.

Until I told Jasper and Emmett after Jasper was out of his drunken stupor.

Their expressions had turned horrified. Emmett started shaking his head, and his hands had risen in the air. At first I thought he was going to say, "Your crazy, there is and never was a Bella Swan," but he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

"Edward, you've gotta listen to me." He looked into my eyes. They looked at me in pity. "Bella Swan is and always is the _perfect_ player. She picks her men wisely. She plays them with her looks. When she knows he loves her, she goes in for the kill. And Edward, you're her next target."

It was my turn to look at someone like they were crazy. Bella was too nice to be a player. Much less a _perfect player_. "Not possible."

Jasper pushed Emmett back and he took my shoulders and shook me as well. "You're in denial." His voice cracked like he was about to cry. "Look, she knew you were in complete love with her, and she decided your birthday was the perfect time to do it. She lathered you up with her looks, and then she kissed you, and now -."

"Now she's 'disappeared,'" Emmett made quotation marks around disappeared, "And it's going to drive you crazy. When you finally can't take it anymore, she miraculously appears, and you worship her. She then uses you in your craziest element because she knows that you're not going to think about it. She knows all you want is to be with her, is to think that she will forever be with you. But -."

"You wake up in the morning and she's gone. You're going to kill yourself over the pain Edward, it's happened to 3 guys already. Its practical homicide, but the police let it slide because they think it was just teenage heartbreak. Goddamnit Edward, we can't let you go through with this. It's a game. And you're never going to win." Jasper let some tears escape his eyes.

I didn't believe them. They were liars. I knew they were jealous that I had something real and they didn't. So I said, "This isn't a game."

"Shit. He doesn't believe us. That's what happened to Tyler. He didn't believe his buddy's and he went along with it, and he killed himself. We should have seen this coming!"

Emmett actually looked stressed. I still didn't believe them though. It was impossible that someone could actually kill themselves over a girl. I shook my head and pushed Jasper and Emmett away from me. I was becoming really pissed. They were calling the one girl I had ever loved a player who practically killed people. I couldn't allow it, so I punched them both in the face, and ran off.

That was the last I had seen of my best friends. Mostly because I chose to avoid them. They were making up stories so that I wouldn't pursue Bella. Bella was popular to an extent and they just didn't want me taking their popularity. What selfish jerks.

They continued to try to talk me out of liking Bella. But the truth was, I was already swimming in a sea of Bella. Everywhere I went I saw Bella. I saw her in the shower; I saw her at school, and anywhere else. I heard her voice all the time, and I would be constantly turning around to see if she was really there or not.

I was loosing it. I kept thinking that I was never going to see the one thing that was my existence again. I barely talked now days. I never ate, because I kept stressing over when Bella was coming back. Alice looked at me worriedly. Sometimes at night I would hear her cry because or something I had no clue. She would sometimes say my name, and she would cling onto me when ever she could. Her new boyfriend, Jasper, because Jasper had recently asked her out, was always around. When ever he was around he would plead me to stop thinking of her.

But I couldn't. I tried, I tried so hard, but I just couldn't stop the thinking.

And I awoke from horrid dreams of Bella chasing me, her sweet giggle echoing off the walls as she chased me with an ax. I thought of her all the time and it was like a Demon. Half of me was wanting her, and half of me was wanting to run from her.

I began huddling in my closet curled in a ball crying over a girl who barely knew me. I was a nervous wreck, and somehow I couldn't stop.

Alice begged me to get over Bella. She said Bella was real, she told me Bella was alive and she told me the same thing Jasper and Emmett had, but I didn't believe her either. I had been lied to and used all my life, and I finally found an angel that wouldn't use me for sex, and everyone was making up lies to keep me away.

But I kept thinking of the game, and I was thinking about what it would be like to just drop this all and stop it, if there even was a game. I wouldn't be able to stop it, though, because I couldn't think of anything but Bella.

I thought of how she could have just disappeared after kissing me, or how she could have felt the passion but not stay to say it.

But most of all, I thought of what Jasper and Emmett said.

What if this was a game? What if she was using me?

I started looking behind my back for different reasons, and crying for different reasons, and I started to wish I would have never met this Demon named Obsession.

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**A/N: This is my _first_ Angst story, and I know, it seems like the story is moving quick, but trust me, it's not. I know I hadn't reached 5 reviews yet, but this chapter was bugging me so, TADA! Oh, and review. It's good for the soul.**

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_If you are a growing poet and you'd like to have your pieces put at the beginning of the next chapter, please PM me. The only thing I ask is that the poem be about an obsession. Other than that, have fun writing them. First come, first serve. I will save your poems to my computer for further chapters, but the first to send me their poem now gets their poem in the next chapter first. _

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